i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
