it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
