You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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