I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
