how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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