Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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