community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
