the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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