my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
