im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize