He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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