There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
