I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
