Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
