I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
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I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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