I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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