He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
