i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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