Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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