its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
