So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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