I have demons in me.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
