Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
