I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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