Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
