my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
