beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You're like the curious george of whores
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
