i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
