haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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