Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
