Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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