Pants 0. Shit 1.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
