I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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