Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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