We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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