how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
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And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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