He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
