ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
