Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
