its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
