watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
