he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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