Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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