The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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