we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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