she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize