Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
