Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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