I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
