That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
