i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
