how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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