i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
