Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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