Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
