Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
