...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
