i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
