The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
