I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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