Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
