Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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