He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
