Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
