it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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