my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
