It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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