It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
