you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She announced her abortion via fbk
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
